so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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