After last night, I could never be a politician.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Acid is not a monday night drug
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
