I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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