Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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