shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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