R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
