I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize