I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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