yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
