Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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