I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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