when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
