I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
