you would pick up someone in the library
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
