I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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