he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
