did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dick very happy bro
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize