nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
