so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
