Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
