It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize