My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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