i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
