Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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