Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize