That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
