After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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