Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
