My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
