giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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