after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
