Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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