There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
