16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
