Having a random hookup so left but love u
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
