Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
