I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize