I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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