I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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