dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
