I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
