I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
