to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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