whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
