Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
