How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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