it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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