I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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