I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
do herpes really smell.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
