i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
