I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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