He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
