people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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