Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
