i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize