I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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