Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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