our cab driver is having phone sex.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize