i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
