I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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