The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
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