I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
