dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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