I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
