It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
