hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Small penises have feelings too.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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